We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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