Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
