he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize