the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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