Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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