i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sorry about my life...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
