I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
