And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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