but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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