i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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