He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
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So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.