They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.