Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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