yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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