so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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