Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
