woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I skipped work to stalk him.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
