it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
