is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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