I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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