the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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