UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
sex in a hospital.. check
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
