Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
