i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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