Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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