bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
