like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
