My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
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I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
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After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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