I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
