Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
