More tranny stories later!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
