fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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