god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
