its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
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Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
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Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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