how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight