I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.