ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Found the puke drawer
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island