Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey