Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
