carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
