This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
