shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize