I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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