idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
