hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
