I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
