oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
