The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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