Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
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I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize