I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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