i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
How external is "for external use only"?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
