If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
