Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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