I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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