she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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