You made me cry and you don't even care
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
