Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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