We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
