dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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